Training to become a Sponsor Couple is free, and it’s designed to fit into a real schedule — most couples complete it in two hours or less. Training is available on Zoom or face-to-face, and offered in multiple languages, including English and Spanish.

For questions, or to find out about language options, call the For Better & For Ever team at 210-557-3660, or email our Sponsor Couple team at SponsorCouple@ForBetterandForEver.com.

How Does This Work?

Becoming a Sponsor Couple starts with an invitation — most parishes bring couples into this ministry directly, often through the pastor, rather than through an open call for volunteers. If you’re reading this because your pastor asked you to consider it, that’s exactly how this typically begins.

From there, the process has three steps: a homework assignment on your own, attend a training session, and then get matched with an engaged couple whom you will guide through the rest of For Better & For Ever®. The role itself is to function as a peer, not an expert — you’re not there to lecture or grade the couple you sponsor, but to walk alongside them, sharing honestly from your own marriage as you go.

Step One: Homework to Prepare

Before your training session, you’ll complete homework in your own copy of For Better & For Ever®. (If you don’t have your books yet, you can order a set from the Order Books page.)

This homework will give you and your spouse a real, personal reflection on your own family of origin and how it is constantly affecting your marriage.  Sharing this family of origin information in dialogue with each other ~ before you ever sit down with an engaged couple to listen to what they are learning by doing the same homework ~ is the most important part of learning to be a Sponsor Couple. That firsthand experience is something training alone can’t teach.

Doing this kind of homework provides an opportunity to dialogue about issues you are working on in your own marriage, and it is your best “proof” to the couple you are sponsoring that every healthy marriage is always a work in progress.

What to do:

1. Read pages 5, 6, and 7 of For Better & For Ever®, and look through the rest of the book as time allows. These are your personal copies — feel free to highlight anything that stands out.
2. Write out your answers to the questions in Chapters 2, 3, 4, and 5 (on Family of Origin), then share your answers with each other in dialogue. This gives you a firsthand experience of exactly what you’ll be asking engaged couples to do — and often surfaces something new about each other in the process. You’re welcome to work through additional chapters too, though that’s not required before training, since you’ll naturally return to them while preparing for meetings with the couples you sponsor.
   
   

A few more resources worth reviewing before training:

• Key Concepts — a deeper look at each chapter of For Better & For Ever®, available in English and Spanish
• Dialogue skills videos — Marital Dialogue by Dave & Margie McKeon and videos by Dr. Sue Johnson
• A video by Fr. Mike Schmitz on the meaning of wedding vows
• Page 7 of For Better & For Ever® — review the chapters your pastor typically covers, so you’re familiar with that content too

Step Two: Register for Training

Once your homework is complete, register for an upcoming Zoom or in-person training session. Call 210-557-3660 to confirm language options and whether a given session will be on Zoom or face-to-face.

(Check the registration page for current session dates — availability changes regularly.)

Already using For Better & For Ever® as a couple, without going through Sponsor Couple training? You can also register as a couple.

What being part of this ministry includes:

• Experiencing the benefits of the Sponsor Couple® process of marriage preparation firsthand.
• Sponsor Couples often report that they get as much benefit to their marriage as the engaged couples say they do.
• Learning to share feelings openly, as a couple
• A certificate of completion for your parish’s records
• A ministry that continues beyond the wedding day, not just through it
• Access to our Newsletter and ongoing support for your own marriage
• The chance to help with evaluation and outreach for For Better & For Ever®
• Support in promoting marriage and family life programs in your parish

Step Three: After Your Training

Once training is complete, keep this page bookmarked — it’s built specifically for newly trained Sponsor Couple teams, and you can return to it anytime.

From here, you will typically minister within your own parish. Your pastor, or whoever he’s delegated this responsibility to, will reach out and connect you with a couple preparing for marriage or seeking to have their civil marriage validated in the Catholic Church.

If for any reason you’re not ready to take this on yet, call the For Better & For Ever team at 210-557-3660 or email our Sponsor Couple team at Sponsorcouple@ForBetterandForEver.com — together you can figure out what you need before moving forward.

Once you’re matched with a couple:

1. Make first contact. Reach out by phone, email, or video call, and set up your first formal meeting together to cover Chapters 2 and 3 of For Better & For Ever®.
2. Keep going, one meeting at a time. You won’t know upfront how many sessions you’ll need — just schedule “the next meeting” until all four of you agree you’ve covered everything that matters, before the wedding. (You’ll pick the conversation back up after they’re married, too.)
3. Share your feedback. After sponsoring your first couple, let us know how it went — and invite the couple you sponsored to share their feedback as well.
   
   

Feeling unsure once you’re underway? That’s completely normal, especially with your first couple. If a session feels stuck, a couple seems reluctant to open up, or something more serious comes up that you don’t feel equipped to handle, you’re not on your own — your parish Coordinators are there to help, and the resources below cover some of the most common situations sponsor couples run into.

Common Questions

What if we don’t feel qualified? You’re not expected to have all the answers — the role works precisely because you’re a peer, not an expert. Your training and homework are designed to prepare you well, and your parish Coordinators are available if you have questions along the way.

What if the couple we’re sponsoring is quiet or hesitant to open up? This is common, especially in early sessions. See our resource on working with quiet or reticent couples for real, tested techniques.

What if something serious comes up — like a disclosure of abuse? Healthy boundaries are part of what makes this ministry sustainable and safe, for you and for the couples you sponsor. See our Healthy Boundaries resource below for guidance on this and other sensitive situations.

What if our schedules don’t line up with the couple we’re sponsoring? Reach out to your Coordinators — they can help troubleshoot scheduling, or reassign the couple to another Sponsor Couple if needed.

Can anyone become a Sponsor Couple? If you and your spouse are interested in serving as a Sponsor Couple, contact your pastor or a church leader you feel comfortable talking with about this ministry. Many church communities began using For Better & For Ever because one couple moved into the community from another part of the country and brought with them the Good News about For Better & For Ever.

Do I need to register to become a Sponsor Couple before I register for training? Ordinarily, folks are asked to serve as a Sponsor Couple by their church community. But if you can envision the unique value of For Better & For Ever for your church community, maybe God is calling you to learn more about this ministry so you can help get it started in your community. Contact For Better & For Ever, and we will assist you.

What kind of time commitment is this? You sponsor one couple at a time and the number of meetings are actually determined by you and the couple you are sponsoring. Page 7 of For Better & For Ever addresses this question. Individual meetings are usually not more than 90 minutes.

How do I get paired with engaged couples? Usually, it is the pastor or someone to whom the pastor delegates this responsibility who pairs the couples.

How many couples can I expect to be paired with at one time? You and your spouse sponsor just ONE couple at a time. If a community wants to use For Better & For Ever for some kind of small group meeting, we encourage them to talk with For Better & For Ever about how to best do this.

Are there resources available to us?  Feel free to call our staff at any time about this. We’re here to help.

Explore More

Ready to go deeper, or looking for something specific to bring into your next session? Here are a few resources worth having on hand:

• Sponsor Couple® Ministry: A Peer-to-Peer Journey That Benefits Everyone — why this model of ministry works, and why sponsors often say they get as much out of it as the couples they guide
• Healthy Boundaries for Sponsor Couples — how to protect the relationship, your own marriage, and your ability to sustain this ministry long-term
• Working with Quiet or Hesitant Couples — real techniques for building trust, session by session
• Discernment for Dating Couples — a resource to share with couples who are still deciding whether they’re ready for engagement
• Key Concepts That You May Find Useful For Understanding The Content and Structure of For Better & For Ever ®
• How Can We Be Sure We’re Teaching Our Engaged Couple Everything They Should Know?
• Watch: Marital Dialogue with Dave & Margie McKeon
• Watch: The Meaning of Wedding Vows with Fr. Mike Schmitz
• View More Resources in Our Library