FAQs
Frequently Asked Questions
Have questions? You’re in the right place. Below you’ll find answers to common questions about For Better & For Ever, our resources, and our approach to marriage preparation. We’re committed to helping couples build stronger foundations through meaningful conversation, practical tools, and faith-centered guidance. We hope these answers provide helpful insight as you begin or continue your journey toward a stronger, lasting marriage.
General Questions
What is For Better & For Ever®?
For Better & For Ever® is a marriage-preparation and enrichment ministry that helps couples build strong, lasting marriages through faith-based, values-centered formation.
Who is this program for?
We serve engaged couples, married couples, parish leaders, dioceses, and anyone who wants to prepare for their marriage. We have three versions, Catholic, Christian and secular couples.
Do you have to be Catholic to participate?
No. While rooted in Catholic teaching, our programs are open to couples of all backgrounds.
What makes this program different?
Our parish-based model connects couples with trained Sponsor Couple® who provide real-life experience—not just classroom instruction.
Discernment & Readiness
Where are we in this relationship? What should we do next?
Marriage preparation helps couples reflect on their level of commitment, communication, shared values, and readiness for a lifelong partnership.
How do we know if we are ready for marriage?
Readiness includes emotional maturity, commitment, openness to lifelong partnership, and willingness to grow together.
How do we know if we are called to marry each other?
Discernment involves prayer, honest conversation, and guidance from a Sponsor Couple or clergy.
What are the signs we may not be ready?
Unresolved conflict, lack of communication, major value differences, or hesitation about commitment.
Is it okay to delay a wedding?
Yes. Taking time to discern is encouraged.
What is the best age for a successful marriage?
There is no perfect age—readiness matters more than age.
Catholic Teaching on Marriage
What is Christian marriage?
Christian marriage is a lifelong covenant rooted in God’s love. In the Catholic Church, it is a sacrament.
What is a sacramental marriage?
A sacred covenant between a baptized man and woman that reflects Christ’s love for the Church.
Is marriage permanent?
Yes. Marriage is intended to be lifelong.
How is marriage different from a contract?
Marriage is a covenant based on self-giving love, not just a legal agreement.
Why is marriage a vocation?
It is a calling from God to grow in holiness together.
Why does the Church emphasize children?
Marriage is ordered toward both unity and openness to life.
Marriage Preparation
Are marriage preparation programs mandatory?
Most churches today are convinced that good marriage preparation programs can help couples avoid the mistakes that have destroyed too many marriages.
Most Catholic parishes and many Protestant churches will require some form of marriage preparation. At the same time, most pastors are open to input from couples in selecting a process which you think will best suit you and your partner. You can use For Better & For Ever to get started on this preparation even before you contact your church or pastor. Most pastors will be positively impressed that you took the initiative to get started on a marriage preparation process and will agree that For Better & For Ever is an excellent marriage preparation program (even if the pastor is more familiar with other programs).
Why are there so many rules?
They safeguard the sacredness of marriage and ensure couples are prepared.
What will we learn?
- Communication
- Conflict resolution
- Finances
- Faith and spirituality
- Family life
How long does it take?
Typically, several weeks to months.
Can it be completed online?
Some portions may be online, but personal interaction is essential.
Pre-Marriage Assessments
Will we take an assessment?
Yes, many programs include relationship assessments.
Are these tests?
No—they are tools for discussion and growth.
Wedding Planning & Logistics
Where can we find wedding planning resources?
Your parish and For Better & For Ever provide guidance and tools.
Do we need to meet with a priest or deacon?
Yes.
What documents are required?
Typically, Baptismal certificates and certificates of First Communion, Confirmation, and documents of any previous marriages and divorces.
Am I required to marry in a church?
No, if you are a US citizen, you can be legally married by anyone who meets the requirements of civil law to officiate at your wedding. This person is legally required to send documentation of your marriage to the county of the state in which the marriage took place, and a copy of this record is returned to the newly married couple.
However, if you are a member of a faith community, each faith community has its own traditions and requirements for how marriages are to celebrated and documented.
Catholic Canon Law requires Catholic marriages to take place in a parish church or other Catholic church or oratory. However, due to special needs, the marriage could take place in a hospital or the home of a homebound parent.
Another example, for a Catholic man marrying a Methodist woman, the bishop can grant a dispensation for the marriage to take place in the woman’s Methodist church, and the officiant would be her Methodist pastor.
Another example, for a Catholic marrying a person who is not a Christian, the bishop can grant a dispensation for the marriage to take place a neutral site (such as a hotel or reception hall).
It is essential in these special situations for the couple to collaborate with their priest to secure the necessary dispensations from the Catholic bishop, ensuring that the marriage is valid according to Canon Law.
In these special situations, the usual marriage preparation programs are to be used as far as this is possible.
Do I have to be a registered member of a parish to get married there?
No and Yes! Canon Law does not require a Catholic to register in a local church. On the other hand, whether you are Protestant or Catholic, registering in a church is considered a normal way to demonstrate an adult decision to be a part of a church “family.” If you are desiring the services of a church for the celebration of your wedding, a good choice is to begin by “signing up.”
How do we choose a parish?
Look for a welcoming community where you can grow in faith.
Can I have a Catholic wedding outdoors?
Because Catholic marriage is a sacred and lifelong covenant and is established in a Rite of worship, Catholic weddings are celebrated in a Catholic church or another sacred place. For this reason, outdoor weddings are generally not permitted.
However, there are places all over the world where Catholic Sunday Eucharist is celebrated in an outdoor setting. If you’re hoping for an outdoor wedding, find a place where Sunday Eucharist is regularly celebrated outdoors, and see whether they will allow you to get permission from the bishop to celebrate your wedding there!
Interfaith & Unique Situations
What if one of us is not Catholic?
This is common. The Church welcomes interfaith couples.
What if one is not Christian?
Special permissions may be required.
Is conversion required?
No.
What if my fiancé was baptized Catholic but not raised Catholic?
They may reconnect with the faith during preparation.
What if we disagree about raising children Catholic?
The Catholic party promises to do their best to raise children in the faith.
Where can we find more interfaith guidance?
Your parish or diocese can provide resources.
Sacramental Readiness
What if I am Catholic but not Confirmed?
You can usually complete Confirmation during preparation.
What if I was married civilly but not in the Church?
Your marriage may be recognized through convalidation.
Previous Marriages & Annulments
What if one of us has been married before?
Previous marriages must be reviewed.
What is an annulment?
A declaration that a valid sacramental marriage did not exist.
How do I know if I need an annulment?
Speak with your parish if either person has been previously married.
Natural Family Planning (NFP)
Will we learn about NFP?
Yes.
Is NFP required?
Couples are expected to learn about it as part of Church teaching.
Communication & Relationship Skills
Do all couples struggle with communication?
Yes—growth is normal.
What if we’ve never had conflict?
You will learn how to handle it when it arises.
Will we discuss difficult topics?
Yes—honest conversations are essential.
Do we have to share personal details?
No—privacy is respected.
Sponsor Couple® Ministry
What is a Sponsor Couple®?
A married couple, invited by their pastor and trained through For Better & For Ever®, who personally guides an engaged couple through marriage preparation — not as experts, but as peers sharing from their own marriage. The relationship continues past the wedding day, too.
Why are they important?
Sponsor Couples are peers, not experts — which makes real, honest dialogue possible in a way lecture-style prep can’t. Many also say they get as much out of the experience as the couples they guide.
How are we matched?
Your pastor refers you to the parish Coordinators, an experienced Sponsor Couple who oversees the program. They match you with a Sponsor Couple, who then reaches out to schedule your first meeting.
What if it’s not a good fit?
Reach out to your Coordinators. They can help troubleshoot or reassign you to another Sponsor Couple.
Can we become a Sponsor Couple®?
Let your pastor know you’re interested — parishes typically invite couples into this ministry directly, and your pastor can connect you with training.
Parish & Community
Why is the parish involved?
Marriage is lived within a faith community.
Do we need to stay involved after marriage?
It’s encouraged for continued growth.
Program Logistics
How do we register?
Through your parish, diocese, or website.
Is there a cost?
Varies by location.
Can we complete it quickly?
Possibly, but meaningful preparation is encouraged.
Challenges & Support
What if one of us struggles with mental health or addiction?
Support and referrals are available.
Is counseling required?
Not usually, but sometimes recommended.
After the Wedding
What support is available after marriage?
Marriage enrichment programs and parish life.
Why is ongoing support important?
Marriage is a lifelong journey.
What if we experience serious struggles?
Seek help early through counseling and pastoral care.
Financial & Practical Guidance
What are wise ways to use wedding gifts?
- Build savings
- Pay down debt
- Invest in your future
- Strengthen financial stability
Ministry Leaders & Parishes
How do we implement this program?
Partner with FB&FE for training and materials.
How do we recruit Sponsor Couples®?
Through invitation and parish engagement.
How is success measured?
By stronger marriages and ongoing faith engagement.
Whether you are single, dating, or engaged, now is the right time to begin learning the skills of lifelong love.
Marriage thrives not on good intentions alone, but on daily practices of dialogue, commitment, and growth.
For Better & For Ever® exists to help you take those first steps—with honesty, clarity, and hope.
