1) Contact a parish early (before setting anything in stone)
- Reach out to the parish where you live (or a parish you belong to) and ask to begin the marriage process.
- If you already have a priest/deacon you’d like to officiate, contact him as well.
2) “Pencil in” a date (but don’t finalize it yet)
- Many parishes will tentatively hold a date while you complete the initial meeting and determine readiness/freedom to marry.
- This keeps things “user friendly” while still protecting the Church’s responsibility to confirm the marriage can proceed.
3) Meet with the priest/deacon (or trained parish delegate) for an initial conversation
This first conversation helps the parish understand:
- Whether either person has been married before
- Whether either person is Catholic (or baptized Catholic)
- Any issues that could affect freedom to marry or the form of celebration
4) Gather the required documents
Typical needs include:
- Newly issued baptismal certificate(s) for Catholics (requested from the parish of baptism)
- Any sacramental records needed (as applicable)
- If applicable: documentation related to prior marriage(s), civil marriage, or divorce (your parish will guide you)
5) Address any “freedom to marry” issues before moving forward
If either person has been married before, or if a Catholic previously married outside the Church, the parish will guide the correct process (often involving the tribunal). Do this before final wedding plans.
6) Complete the parish’s required “marriage prep pathway”
Most parishes require a structured preparation process. A common model looks like:
A. Early formation / readiness
- Couples may be given discernment tools or early formation resources, especially if not yet engaged.
B. Immediate marriage preparation during engagement
- Your parish will assign or recommend a preparation program.
- Many parishes use For Better & For Ever® as a comprehensive framework for required topics and structured dialogue.
7) If your parish uses Sponsor Couples®, begin your sessions
- You’ll meet with a trained Sponsor Couple® for a series of guided conversations, often 5–6 sessions.
- The focus is dialogue: communication, family of origin, faith, finances, sexuality, conscience, marital spirituality, and more.
8) Complete the parish’s premarital paperwork (“prenuptial investigation”)
- The priest/deacon, or delegate, will complete the Church’s required forms with you and may request witness affidavits and other items depending on your situation.
9) Plan the wedding liturgy with the parish
- You’ll coordinate readings, music, roles, and practical details according to parish and diocesan norms.
- If one party is not Catholic, your parish will guide the appropriate form. Mass vs. no Mass is common in mixed-faith situations.
10) Rehearsal and wedding day
- The parish will conduct a rehearsal and confirm final logistics, so the celebration is reverent, clear, and smooth.
11) Follow-up after the wedding (part of real marriage formation)
- In a Sponsor Couple® model, couples are typically contacted again around 3 months and 6 months into marriage, either in person or via Zoom/phone, and parishes promote ongoing enrichment opportunities.
Common “special situations” (where the steps adjust)
- Interfaith / interchurch couples: permissions/dispensations and ceremony form may differ; your pastor will handle the process.
- Not Confirmed / not practicing: your parish may invite you into a path of renewed formation alongside marriage preparation.
- Civilly married already: you may be preparing for a convalidation/validation; the parish will guide documentation and preparation.
