A guide for parish leaders, based on insights from John Mungham. Watch the companion video below for the full conversation.

When a Group Setting Makes Sense

The ideal way to use For Better & For Ever® is one-on-one, with a Sponsor Couple walking alongside a single engaged couple. But many parishes simply don’t have enough couples trained to serve in that role to meet the need — and that’s where a group setting becomes a valuable next-best option.

A group format works especially well for three kinds of couples:

• Couples having their civil marriage validated in the Catholic Church
• Couples who have lived together for some years, and/or already have children
• Couples entering a second marriage, where one or both partners have been married before

What these couples share is real-life experience of marriage or committed partnership. The goal of the group setting isn’t to deny or minimize what they’ve already learned — it’s to affirm that experience and help them build on it, deepening their relationship into something even more sacred.

Keep Groups Small

The single most important structural decision a leader makes is group size. Cap groups at 12 couples maximum.

When groups grow too large, something important is lost: couples stop being active participants and start becoming an audience. Small groups create the space couples need to share honestly, listen to one another, and have real conversation — not just receive a presentation.

The Two-Part Structure

A successful group experience has two phases: an Orientation session a few weeks beforehand, and the Weekend itself.

Orientation

Hold this on a weekday evening or weekend, three to four weeks before the main event, so couples have time to complete their homework beforehand. Plan for 90–120 minutes.

During Orientation, leaders should:

• Make introductions. Invite each couple to briefly share their story — how they met, how long they’ve been together, whether they have children, and why they’re getting married. (Leaders should take notes here; these details will shape the weekend’s presentations.)
• Distribute the books. Give each person their own copy of For Better & For Ever® and walk through the Table of Contents together, so they start thinking about which chapters matter most to them.
• Introduce homework and dialogue (see page 7 of the book). Since it isn’t possible to cover every chapter during the weekend, invite the group to help choose the focus. Ask each couple to identify one to three chapters that feel most important to them, and share those choices with the group. This simple step does something powerful: it makes couples partners — not just recipients — in their own formation.
• Assign homework. A recommended starting point is Chapters 2, 3, and 9, covering Family of Origin and Dialogue. Give couples three to four weeks to complete this before the weekend.
• Walk through the Chapter 2 exercise (mapping the floor plan of their childhood home) together and leave time to discuss initial reactions. Couples will finish the exercise fully as homework.

The Weekend

Timing will depend on travel distance and family obligations, but a typical schedule looks like:

• Friday: 7:00–9:00 PM
• Saturday: 9:00 AM–3:30 PM (or, alternatively, Saturday only, 9:00 AM – 4:00 PM)

Friday evening sets the tone:

• Name tags and introductions — this time, ask each partner to share one thing they appreciate about the other.
• Open with prayer, incorporating a candle and Scripture.
• Discuss the homework. Give this real time. Like marriage itself, the homework is work — and couples deserve to have that effort validated.
• Review Family of Origin and Communication, weaving in what couples uncovered in their homework. (For English-speaking groups, consider incorporating portions of the McKeon video, assigning any remaining sections as homework.)

Across the weekend, leaders guide the group through the topics couples identified as priorities, which may include:

• Family of Origin
• Communication
• Faith experience and prayer
• Relationship as a Christian couple
• Parenting
• Finances

Since it’s impossible to cover every topic in depth, remind couples that their book is a resource they can keep returning to on their own.

For additional support, contact us.

Keys to a Successful Weekend

• Protect the small-group dynamic. It can be tempting to let more couples in, but exceeding 12 couples turns active learners back into a passive audience.
• Make space for prayer. Weaving prayer into both the Orientation and the Weekend isn’t optional — it’s core to the goal of teaching couples how to pray together, often a skill they haven’t yet developed.
• Provide lunch on Saturday. Keeping everyone on-site preserves time and momentum. Consider inviting couples to bring their favorite non-alcoholic drinks and snacks to share.
• End on time — or early. Never run past your stated end time; ending 10–15 minutes early is always appreciated. Close with feedback sheets so you can keep improving future sessions.